Wednesday, June 09, 2004

Wednesday morning

Talk about addiction ... this morning I'm shaving my legs in the shower, anticipating meeting this new guy J. and I'm thinking, "Why are you wasting your time doing this, he's not going to see your legs and you could be doing something more useful, like checking the Internet."
I say this when all day I have some important meetings that I need to be prepared for and absolutely am not.
NP has recommended I read some information on co-dependency and also consider joining a support group on the issue. I think it might be a good idea. I've read stuff on co-dependency before and definitely think that it's an issue for me. Let me do some more reading.
I really am not feeling strong at all.
I talked a bit with my husband last night about some of the issues that I spoke with NP about. He asked and wanted to know how things went. I'm not sure if he's asking because he wants to stay abreast of how I'm feeling or if he worries she's putting some bullshit in my head. From what I could tell, he feels positive about what I shared with him. Of course, I can't share half of what I share with her with him. And even find it difficult to say to him that we talk about marital issues, etc. He also really has no idea how to be supportive. His idea of supporting me yesterday was "Well, basically what I see is that you have to do is gain some self-confidence." Oh yeah, like it just works that way. Thanks for the input.
OK, once again, I'm late for work. Better get dressed and go.

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