Wednesday, June 23, 2004


It's amazing how one day I can say to someone ... goodbye, I'm walking away for my own good and two days later spend two hours chatting with them about my addiction to the Internet and some of my deepest, darkest secrets. I see right through him. He doesn't want to lose control, can't stand the thought of losing control of me. The sad thing is I don't think it has anything at all to do with being with me ... it has to do with not letting me go.
He told me today that he's in marriage counseling. What? How in the world is he living in such a lie. He's telling me he's online uncontrollably, just like I am ... but what is he saying in counseling. He said he's considering going for individual counseling. He's leaving for a week. That should help me see if I can get past this addiction. He certainly has been of no help, now trying to get to me by talking about my past life and how it relates to the feelings of another another woman he knows. He told me he's been with her once. I'm sure the reason he doesn't want us to talk to each other is because he's lied to both of us about the role we have in his life. Lately he's started writing me e-mails, and signing off .. "bye, my friend." OK, I'm going to try to give him the benefit of the doubt, but he's probably just trying to get his rocks off somehow.
At least he's the only person I'm chatting with and I"m not meeting anyone.

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