Yesterday, by accident, I saw that my profile had been viewed 96 times. I have gotten kind and supportive e-mails from a couple of folks, so I know that there are a couple of people who read my thoughts regularly. I'm curious if there are others that I have not heard from and who they are. Are they people who get turned on by my tales of reckless sex, or rather people who just got caught up in my story and wonder how it will end? I'm with the latter group.
Yesterday someone wrote and asked, "Why do you make these confessions public?" I'm not exactly sure why I do. Probably in the beginning there was some desire to "tell someone" what I had been up to, to truly confess, maybe even, as the writer suggested, to "brag." Now I think that while I truly use the blog as a journal, to record my thoughts, and thoughts that I don't want lying around my house, I'm also willing to share the ugliness of my story as a means of convincing the world that Internet Addiction Disorder is a true and serious issue that can lead to some very pathetic consequences.
I believe at the root, that my addiction is related to something else in my life, and so that's why I'm trying to work with my therapist a bit at a time to get it all out. Maybe the next meeting, she and I should discuss something other than this addiction. We'll see. If you're out there and reading quitely, I'd be interested in hearing your thoughts.
5 months ago