Took another step today that worked ... We were making the bed together (thanks to him for his help) and he said something mean. He probably was just teasing, but he said something about how I always do things wrong. I said to him, "You should not talk to me that way." I didn't say it in a mean tone, or even a hurt tone. I just said it. In about a minute he came over and hugged me and said he was sorry and that he didnt' mean to hurt my feelings and that he always hurts my feelings and he is sorry.
He can't seem to say these things in a "real tone." But at least he is saying them.
4 months ago