Moving forward and backward

I was all ready to tell NP that the only obstacle I had to face in my Internet addiction was basically to get rid of E.
But, today J. resurfaced in a major way. He said he cannot stop thinking of me and he wants me to be a part of his life in a way no other person has provoked him. I told NP that it's not about what he wants, it's about what I want. I don't know... seems like for every step forward there are two steps back.