Why?

Why do I keep doing this to myself and think I'll get any different result? It's so freaking ridiculous. I make a plan to meet E. after work and he cancels, then won't answer his cell after telling me to call. It's the usual BS behavior. But somehow I allow myself to get excited and anticipate and wonder how it will work. If we truly will just be able to talk, knowing that that's not what I want to happen.