Tuesday, January 22, 2008

A great answer

Last night as I was sitting in my SLAA meeting of one doing some reading, the thought came to me: First, in order to turn my life over to my HP, I have to build trust through building a relationship. How do I build a relationship? The EXACT same way I built a relationship with the people I acted out with, especially those I "fell in love" with. To build a relationship with my HP, I talk to him all the time, I write to him all the time, I think about him all the time, I make every decision with him in mind. My HP has to be at the forefront of my mind. I'm not suggesting that we become addicted to our HP, rather I am saying that we (or at least I) have shown ourselves capable of doing the things necessary to build a relationship, and to turn our lives over to "something." Up until I entered recovery, and even during relapses, I sure knew how to turn my life over to someone else. I think I might be able to figure out how to turn my life over to my HP.

Recovery is a spiritual program. Filling that God-shaped hole with something other than addictive obsessions is crucial for my recovery to work.


bella said...

I have often thought this same thing about addictions, those things I feel I need and will do anything to get and have. Maybe it is really, in its own distorted way, worship. And just what if I let myself have, not substitute for Spirit, but the real things.
Such a lovely post.

The Traveler said...

For me, the defining pathway to that conscious contact / relationship thing with HP is learning to listen, then listening to learn. In other words, it's not so much what I do, as how I AM, approaching contact with my HP. It's so difficult, to quiet the restless soul, and really, really be still and hear what's out there.


Anonymous said...

Rae - Nice post. I'm glad you can see you answer crystalizing so clearly in front of your eyes. I think you're right on track, to build a relationship with God, you gotta talk to Him and walk with Him and listen to Him. I've learned this too!

The listening part for me comes from reading the Bible and then doing my best to obey what I read.

I hope this helps.