R. called again today ... I didn't answer the phone. I know what he would say ... "How are you handling all this?" and apologize for hurting me. He left a message saying "I was just wanting to talk to you." Yeah, well not me.
I went and beat the shit of a rock today with a hammer and used the hammer on some crappy gift he gave me once -- a wooden bookmark that he bought me while he was flirting with some woman with a dog.
I'm not good at doing anger ... but I tried to get out as much as I could.
My sponsor in OA told me today that she had only agreed to be my temporary sponsor and I needed to look for someone else. I felt rejected ... but I'm just trying to focus on the fact that if God wanted this woman in my life he would have left her there.
My next post will be about losing my religion
2 months ago