Friday, January 07, 2005

Morning Prayer -- Jan. 7, 2005

Thank you, Spirit of us All, that I woke up this morning with the foresight and the enthusiasm to clear the clutter from my home. I know that throughout the weekend, that will inspire me to rid my life and my home of even more clutter. It's a great feeling to be alive today, and I thank you Lord for that. Thank you for this new day to live and experience life, and learn, and interact with others who are going through the same process.

I know I'm in a much better place now than where I was even last week. And when I consider where I was last month, I know that by recognizing my powerlessness, acknowledging your presence in me as it flows through all of us, and allowing you to work through me, I am going to make it out of all this a much stronger person.

Today marks the 34th day since I have had sex outside my marriage. I could never imagined that I could ever go a week without finding someone to "act out" with. I have had some near misses and I thank you, oh so much, for intervening. I pray that you will help me not "flirt" with disaster like that again. I never want to feel, "Oh, God will bail me out." I know that I am responsible for my decisions and that if I simply work on making myself stronger rather than spending my time developing ways to avoid trouble, my life will be better. I must remember to focus on the positive aspects of what this experience and this disease has taught me; and one of the most positive things it has taught me is that I am worthy of a true and wonderful life. Wow! What an amazing revelation. Day by day, literally, I have been willing to consider myself powerless against the disease, and with your gentle voice you have guided me through that. I pray that voice will continue to guide me as I continue to work toward becoming whole.

I pray to you, dear Spirit, for your blessings today. Use me as an instrument to help others, and raise me above the distinctions and differences that confuse me and make me weak. Because you live through me, I can be strong. I pray for your will in my life today, Lord. Today and always thankful. Amen.

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