Monday, August 17, 2009

What I fear most

My message from God today from Facebook:

God wants you to know that what you are most afraid of is where your greatest rewards are.

If all you had to do was wish for something and you would have it, life would be pretty boring, wouldn't it? God placed barriers between us and what we want, so we can enjoy interesting and satisfying lives. God hid our biggest rewards behind the highest barriers - our deepest fears. God wants us to face our fears, and hold ground in their presence, and let them go, and that's how we get out biggest rewards. What are you most afraid of? Say it, just start by saying it.

OK, I'll say it.

The three things I fear most:

1. That I am on the wrong path and that I have no idea how to get straight again.
2. That I will spend the rest of my life knowing that I am wasting my God-given resources and talents, but feeling powerless to engage them.
3. That I will become so self-absorbed that there will be no concious left.

How about you? What do you fear most?


vicariousrising said...

My reaction to this message from God was: "Gee thanks God. Enough barriers already. I'm getting kinda tired." I mean, is it just me, or do some people just seem to hit the motherload of shit of fears to have to face while others coast through? Am I meant to believe their lives are less rewarding because they've suffered less? Mmmm. I dunno. When I consider these sorts of conundrums, I try to think of how I want things for my own son, and I understand how handing him life is not good for him. It doesn't build character or appreciation. Yet, I don't feel like he needs to be damaged in order to learn either. So, I tend to want to believe that if there is a god out there, it's not a punishing one and that it would be much like me, not putting me through unholy crap.

I think I lost the thread of my thoughts. LOL.

Things I fear most. Oy.

1. I'm unloveable and no one will ever understand me or even want to try.

2. That I'm screwing my kid up despite my desire to give him the self-esteem and loving home life I didn't have.

3. See #1

Rae, your list is interesting. It sounds like you feel stagnant in your life. Maybe you need to find a way to express yourself that you aren't doing right now. Share more of yourself with the world, maybe in some artistic endeavor?

kat said...

thank you rae. i needed this today. <3

MargauxMeade said...

Rae, I'd argue that you're not wasting your God-given talents--at least not all of them, and probably not the one that counts the most. You're a fabulous writer and you have a gift for making yourself vulnerable in such a way that you can share your truth so others can relate and feel it very viscerally. And you regularly exercise that talent here. Don't underestimate how many lives you're touching and the difference you're making through your blog.

As for my own list, I'll have to think it over a little more. I have a lot of fears--it's hard to narrow it down to the top three.