Sunday, February 08, 2009

Thank you to the women on the other side

I wrote this to a fellow blogger this morning and wanted to share it here. It's not something I haven't said before, but it bears repeating.

The wives of my fellow sex addicts who blog about their feelings, experiences and struggles have saved my life and helped me heal in so many ways. You all have helped me to see the pain that my husband has never been able to express, and more than that to recognize that when I act out with a married man, I'm doing far more damage than this senseless act could ever be worth. Margaux at Love in the Time of Addiction, Mary at A Room of Mama's Own, Woman Anonymous7 and so many others are doing healing work. I'm just sorry it takes so much pain to be the healer.

I hope in some small way that by saying things that perhaps their loved ones cannot say right now, that I have been a healer too.

5 comments:

Indigo said...

Having a support network of people who understand is indeed priceless.(Hugs)Indigo

Willow said...

Yes, you have. I have told my husband about your blog and yesterday showed him, reading your most recent posts.

I told him how much I admire your process, openness and healing. He appreciated me sharing it with him and I could tell it made him feel hopeful for himself.

MargauxMeade said...

Rae, I'm going to write back when I have some more time tomorrow, but I wanted to comment here and say I'm as grateful for you as you are for us. If it weren't for your blog and the blogs of other recovering sex addicts, there is no way I would have been able to get to a place where I'm able to see my husband's true spirit and really understand this as a disease.

While books on sex addiction are helpful, they're also a bit cold and clinical and it's hard to connect checklists of symptoms and diagrams of behaviors with real, beautiful, complex human beings. Thank you for being so authentic and for putting so much of yourself out there for all to see. On the surface, this blog is about your addiction, but what shines through most is the beauty of your soul.

Mary P Jones (MPJ) said...

I've said it before, but I'll say it again: I'm so grateful for you, Rae. Being able to read your struggles and get to know you in all your beauty and complexity and humanness has helped me have compassion all the more for the women on the other side of my equation. Thanks so much for being here!

My name is Ken and I'm a sex addict. said...

Rae, I couldn't agree with you more. I'm not sure that I'll ever understand the depth of my wife's pain, but I can get an idea from the blogs of the spouses that post here online.

In addition to their posts, I'm especially grateful for the posts of female sex addicts online. I plan to address this in more detail in a post on my blog, but learning how to properly relate with women has been incredibly important in my recovery. The sharing of other female sex addicts has been amazingly helpful for me in this respect....