It's only a day and a half before I leave for India. I have a major story to write, packing to do and the house to clean and organize. I have put off a lot of it. Yesterday I did very little. Last night I went online and chatted with a couple of 28 year old guys. They were horny and I just humored them with talk. It's hard to say if it's a slip or a slide -- but it wasn't healthy. Still I'm not feeling guilty. It happened, it's over. This morning for the 40th time, I uninstalled messenger from my computer and will just refrain all together from chat. I only use it to fill time. I need to find new ways to fill time. If I don't, my addict will find them for me.
So ... here I am typing on my blog ... needing to be working. That's where I am right now. But today, I still feel the peace from going to visit my stepfather on Monday. I know that I'm going to be alright. I may not be perfect and life will likely throw me some major curveballs ... but I am going to be OK.
4 months ago