Written to two support buddies today, and first introduced to me by a man I met at a park for a quick blow job -- a man who was before and is now, my friend.
Regarding love being a feeling or a decision -- I fought this concept of love being a choice tooth and nail. NO WAY, I said. As you said, it's either there or it's not. I'm not trying to answer the question for everyone, but I do believe that true love is decision we make, not a feeling by which we are overwhelmed. Now, that's not to say that those feelings that overwhelm us about someone, might not lead us to make the decision to love that person, but the feelings of excitement, etc. are just the high. True love, -- again, my opinion, my personal answer to the question -- is the decision to commit ourselves, our lives, to a partnership with another person, whether romantically, in friendship, or in family. Part of making that choice or that decision, is being sure of ourselves, who we are, what we deserve, and what we are willing and able to expect and ask for from the relationship, as well as what we are willing to give.
I won't pretend that I've gotten to the point in my self-esteem to make these decisions. I have come to the realization, that I must first learn who I am, what I stand for, and why I want to exist. Then, I will have the awesome responsibility to choose love, rather than be overwhelmed by the distorted depiction of it I see all around me.
1 week ago