My first post

Well, I had really intended to start this online journal with something else ... but since I have this on my mind, I'll start here and go backward.

It's Friday night, we're into the Memorial Day weekend, by at least an hour and a half. I came home early so I could get and start dinner for us to eat together and get a good start on the weekend. But, at 6:30 p.m., you're still no where to be seen or heard from. I want to say when you walk in the door ... "You know what, I could have probably met at least two, maybe three men after work, but I didn't even try, because I wanted to come home and be with you." But, instead you'd rather spend the time at work. Well really I know you are not working, you are talking to your friends on your cell phone, because that's what you do on Friday afternoons. And, you know what, you have every right to do that. But just for once I would like to feel that you have come home early because you want to be with me. And I wish that I didn't want to yell at you as soon as you walk in the door. I want us to be friends, to have fun together, to do things together. It's like you stay away until you know that I'll have your dinner cooked for you and then come home. It's so incredibly frustrating.

On another note, I'm not doing so well at weaning myself from the Internet. I spent plenty of time on today and was with both S. and E. this week. And as I got home today I signed on to see if I had messages and J., another guy that I thought I had given enough hints to that he would be gone IM's me and we talk and he says "I know one thing, you are the best woman I've ever been with." Talk about a wowie! Even though I know he's a liar and will do or say most anything for a piece of ass and he certainly wasn't the best guy that I've ever been with. He's too old -- lied to me about his age, then told me when we were together that he's 58. When I met him one night in a hotel room he arranged we had sex for hours, but when I was sucking his cock, he said things like "Suck Daddy's cock, that's a good girl, make Daddy cum." Of course, that set me off emotionally. I told him as we talked after not to say it again and why. Of my previous abuse he said, "That's sad." He didn't act like he cared too much. Anyway, I've not been very interested in him since, but not just because of that.

As for S., we had a great time on Tuesday when I went over to H'burg early for a conference. He joined me in the hotel room for a couple of hours and we had a great time. It felt good and relaxed and fun being with him. He was a bit shy and later told me that I was the first person to ever take him in my mouth. I liked that.

On Thursday, after I got back from H'burg, E. IM'd me and wanted to get together, cause he was bringing his daughter to a ball game near my office. The office cleared out early and I brought him to my office and performed oral sex on him, with the door closed, of course. He was not rough at all, except for with my breasts a little. Today he told me he felt like he came a lot (which he did) and it felt good. But he didn't really act like he had much time to talk, which didn't feel good.