Thursday, October 22, 2009

About this time

About this time every month I go crazy. I get obssessive, I get irritable, sometimes I get seriously inclined to act out. It's called PMS. The fact that I've rejoined OA and am not medicating with food at the moment is making PMS all the more gingerly wonderful. I hung up on my husband today. I'm isolating. I don't want to go to my meeting, I want to tell people to fuck off. Other than that ... I'm doing pretty good.

Seriously, I'm grateful to have an OA sponsor, to be abstinent from compulsive overeating, and to see God's hand at work in my life.

How about some recovery talk you say? OK ... I'm doing what I don't want to do. I'm not trying to be perfect. I'm showing up. I am working on striking a balance in life today -- and not doing so well, but not beating myself up over it.

I'm also grateful to be sleeping better. In fact, I think I'll sleep right now.


MargauxMeade said...

I can totally relate. I go completely crazy during PMS, to the point where I don't allow myself to make any major decisions during that time. Of course, I often forget in the midst it and say and do stupid things, but I pray a lot and try to be extra aware.

Enigma said...

I can totally relate. I'm finding that when I have the biggest emotional "meltdowns", it's usually those few days before my period. I'm trying to become extra aware of this time of the month, so that I know to be gentle with myself & those around me. Sometimes, you can't do anything but feel crappy, but I guess if you know that this too will pass in a few days, it makes it more bearable.