Monday, October 02, 2006

I don't know

Where to start ... I sit here today, having thought of all the consequences of the disease of addiction ... thinking about so many things, thinking about numbness, realizing that I just had a miscarriage of a pregnancy without knowing who the father of the child was. It could have been my husband's, it could have been my lover's, it could have been two or three guys I met during a "binge" in my addiction. The percentage goes to my lover ... but that's almost not the point. A life has been lost, people are feeling sorry for me because I have miscarried. And no one, not even me, knows the truth.
I'm not feeling sorry for myself. I'm just sitting here with my mouth open wondering how far will this all go.

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