Saturday, March 26, 2005

Catch up

Most of the last posts ... in fact all of them for a couple of months ... have been copy and pastes from other things I have written. The letters to my fathers, from my stepdad (who I call Daddy) and even some old letters to lovers that somehow I didn't want to get rid of. I think I wanted to have the letters to remember the pain I felt back then.

I am now four months sober of sex outside my marriage, if you discount a slip I had back about this time in February. So, technically, I'm only one month sober -- but I'm trying to be clear about how far I have come.

G. the guy I slipped with, has not returned calls or e-mails -- so I'm assuming I pissed him off. That's good -- one less thing to worry about.

I met in NYC last weekend -- a week ago ... wow, it seems like years ... with a group of my online support buddies. It was a wonderful, amazing experience. We had an actual "meeting," complete with the steps and a prayer at the end, right there ... with the world going on around us. I think one thing may have been the place. In NY you can be invisible.

I have no feelings about the letter from my stepdad. I guess those will come. I expected he would write me and say most of the things he said. I didn't expect how I would react.


Me, Myself and I said...

In my opinion, your stepfather is such a selfish man and is victimizing himself.Unfortunatly, you might be believing him which is what he was really expecting for.
He had to be ashamed for everything eh did to you. Has he ever asked your for forgiveness ??

Anyways, it is nice to hear you find a good support in the online team. It isnt easy to get away from addiction esp. coz they are teh words they mean: you cant control them at all.So dont be too strict on your if you committed a slip, just learn from the mistakes.

Rae said...

Thank you for your thoughts. And, no, he has never asked for my forgiveness.

And you are right ... there are no mistakes, only experiences.

Thanks for reading and for your post.