I feel special ... I've been Tagged

Jen over at 12 Steps Closer To God has tagged me for a meme. I don't even know what that means ... or if I said it right, but I know that it means that Jen wants to know more about me ... and for that I am thankful. Although after completing this exercise, I think I must feel miserable today ... or that I only write about miserable stuff here ... because everything I've linked to links back to my pain. I'm glad to have been connecting to that pain over the past few years and look forward to connecting to hope and friendship and a sense of freedom in the years ahead.

So, according to Jen's post, the rules for this tagging thing are:

1. Post 5 links to 5 of your previously written posts. The posts have to relate to the 5 key words : family, friend, yourself, your love, anything you like.
2. Tag 5 other friends to do this meme. Try to tag at least 2 new acquaintances so that you get to know them each a little bit better.

Oh I get it, it's sort of like those spam e-mails I get all the time that say I'm going to have a horrible life if I don't forward it to at least 10 people! Haha. I'm only joking of course. I am happy to have the chance to share and to tag some other people to let them know they are special to me.

So here are my five posts:
1. Family - Over the past few years, I have had to come to grips with a lot of truths about my mother, but this loving tribute still stands true.
2. Friend - Interestingly, in doing this exercise, I have realized that I haven't really written about my friends here. I suppose some of that is to protect anonymity and another part is a realization that I am totally self-absorbed. However, I have elected to post Emotions vs. Thinking under this category as it deals with the friendship that is forming in my mind.
3. Myself - There is one post on this blog that completely defines the way I see my life. I wrote Parallel Lives in July 2004 and have spent the following months and years trying to learn how to reunite my wholeness.
4. My love - Anyone who has read my blog knows that over time I've had a hard time figuring out exactly what love is. I thought I once knew and this is a post about how my confusion looked on one particular day: How the Big Day Went for Me. For those who haven't been reading long, R. was a man I had a torrential one year "love affair" with. After I followed my heart and returned to my husband, R. married another woman -- the same one mentioned in this entry -- two months later.
5. Anything I like - Mine is not a blog of happiness -- though I often share a lot of hope and recovery here. My blog is a place where I have shared my story, my recovery, my awareness and my acceptance. It is through writing that I have began to understand my journey and it was through Thoughts Finally Surfacing that I began to see where a vibrant young woman who had surpressed the truth and her pain began to live in the misery of all that was coming to the surface. It may not make sense to include something so sad in the "Anything I like" category -- but I do get to include anything I like, right?

And I would like to tag:
1. Summer at 107 Madison Street
2. Vicarious Rising
3. Andrew at 4th Avenue Blues
4. Woman.Anonymous7
5. Kellee at Crossing My Bridge

A good day

I'm glad to report that today was a good day. I met with a woman about a potential meeting spot for a new SLAA group in the area and it looks promising. I am thankful for the willingness to be open to God's leadership in my life. I pray for the continued willingness to be honest.

One of the things that is hardest about living life as an addict -- whether it is as a sex, people or food addict -- is the inability to be consistent. A good day never feels like it will last and enthusiasm feels like it will eventually allude me. But still, I have been consistent in my effort to "stick with" recovery, even when I thought it wasn't doing me a damn bit of good.

As a result, I am seeing the benefits of recovery in my life -- even if they are sometimes only glimpses. Still they give me hope for a brighter tomorrow.

I also wanted to report that it was a great weekend with my husband. We just enjoyed one another's company and did a few things together that made us both smile. That felt really good.

I have a class tomorrow that should help me get a head start on the freelance work I want to do. I am really looking forward to being in a classroom again and learning. In some ways, every day is a new class, a new learning experience. But sometimes it is nice to be in a learning environment. I am taking three classes (some of them, like the one tomorrow is just a one day class) this fall and I'm looking forward to all of them.

Thanks to all of you who read and offer your supportive comments. I really appreciate them and they give me a little more reason to "keep going."