tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7123027.post1097150852800762728..comments2023-10-05T09:56:38.656-04:00Comments on Rae's Confessions: Taking responsibility for the rageRaehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13352920897908430774noreply@blogger.comBlogger6125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7123027.post-86211336719693509842009-01-13T18:58:00.000-05:002009-01-13T18:58:00.000-05:00I wanted to thank you so much for this post. I ha...I wanted to thank you so much for this post. I have complex relationships with other women too -- and I think that comes in part from the culture at large, but also from my own family dynamics.<BR/><BR/>I both feel the need to protect and have unbreakable solidarity with other women, while having a hard time forming intimate relationships with them or trusting them.. Female friendships are something I'm just learning how to have.<BR/><BR/>As always, thanks so much for sharing. I always gain some insight into my own journey through your experience, strength and hope.Mary P Jones (MPJ)https://www.blogger.com/profile/10251787926841410344noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7123027.post-35508086182893500252009-01-02T00:07:00.000-05:002009-01-02T00:07:00.000-05:00Rae, You amaze me even from long distance I learn ...Rae, You amaze me even from long distance I learn so much from your ESH. AllyAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7123027.post-77811722088203465822008-12-17T14:37:00.000-05:002008-12-17T14:37:00.000-05:00Rae, I appreciate this post quite a bit. I've won...Rae, I appreciate this post quite a bit. <BR/><BR/>I've wondered about a lot of similar things while carrying on extra-marital affairs of my own.<BR/><BR/>I'm also working on a post dealing with my own rage at my parents; although I don't think I've had quite as much to work through as you have.<BR/><BR/>Thank you for sharing. I always appreciate it.My name is Ken and I'm a sex addict.https://www.blogger.com/profile/12192627552460361405noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7123027.post-25852269122096146312008-12-14T18:19:00.000-05:002008-12-14T18:19:00.000-05:00This post really resonates with me. I've struggled...This post really resonates with me. I've struggled with a lot of rage towards my mother as well, and it has affected my ability to make close female friendships. I find it difficult to trust women when that basic relationship bond did not happen as it ought to have.<BR/><BR/>In my case, my mother saw me as a rival in several ways, not the least of which was for my father's affections, so I think that may have had an affect on how my sexualiy manifested differently than yours -- I shoved mine down deep in an attempt to prove to my mother I wasn't trying to compete with her. I suppose this could have swung back in later years as a reflexive revenge, but I think I just continued to repress and use drinking to keep it there.<BR/><BR/>I never realized the feeling was rage until much more recently, though. Admitting that emotion was extremely difficult for me. It is hard to look at my mother and separate the woman from the mother and me from the needy child, but I am slowly doing these things to help me heal. Acknowledging the anger, though, was a huge step for me.<BR/><BR/>Thank you for sharing this post. It helped me a lot.Judithhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16354890444410748967noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7123027.post-30000856356870232652008-12-13T19:37:00.000-05:002008-12-13T19:37:00.000-05:00I've also always had problems in relationships wit...I've also always had problems in relationships with women....more so in recovery than any time else. I find it very hard to trust women in recovery.<BR/><EM>"And today I am willing to take responsibility for being a perpetrator as well as a victim."</EM> <BR/>I've never thought of myself in that way before. It hits me right between the eyes. Brings back memories of women whose husband's I messed with without any regard for their marriage. I know that power grabbing for me was a way of coping. <BR/><BR/>And I am struggling with it now as I lose weight. I feel far more powerful and I can't tell some days whether it's a healthy power or not. And I hate that. I've been asking myself this past week if that is my ego or coming from a healthy place. I don't know. Normally I would pack weight back on when I start feeling like this but this time I am determined not to sabotage myself in that way and to work through the feelings and figure out what's healthy and what's not. I feel more settled within my body but I am not used to feeling powerful in a healthy way so that's where the confusion comes in.<BR/>Thank you for sharing this where it can help my journey, too.Hopehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02045801745534184703noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7123027.post-80419644567796964932008-12-13T10:50:00.000-05:002008-12-13T10:50:00.000-05:00I don't have time to process this right now but on...I don't have time to process this right now but on a first read I can relate to a lot of it. I'll be back to post another comment.Hopehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02045801745534184703noreply@blogger.com